I’m not really sure where this relationship is going anymore, Chan. You’ve changed so since I first met you almost six years ago, and now I feel as though we’re going in entirely separate directions. Before seeing you last summer, I had heard rumors that you had changed your tune, but I would never have guessed it would have been so drastic. I was certainly glad to hear you sounding more self-confident than usual, but frankly, I miss your old alcoholic, insecure, emotionally unstable self back when you had records like Moon Pix and The Covers Record under your belt.

It felt as though we were beginning to drift apart a couple years ago when you recorded The Greatest, an album that seemed to tell me you were trying to win over more clean-cut, mainstream guys. But now with this record, Jukebox, it’s obvious to me that I was right; not even your attempt to woo me by rehiring your Moon Pix-era band could fool me into believing that I’m still your main man.